Top Ten Tips For A Successful Job Interview

 

Today's job market practically demands sexual favors from applicants.

  1. A shot of whiskey helps get the smell of beer off your breath
  2. Ask your interviewer if pants are required by the company dress code
  3. Suggest Wedgie Wednesday as part of Theme Week to help boost employee morale
  4. Dress for Success: denim cut-offs, rope belt and riding boots are a must!
  5. Compliment the female interviewer, “Nice caboose! What time does the train leave?”
  6. Refuse to answer any questions without your lawyers present
  7. Really loud flatulence never fails to break the ice and ease tensions
  8. Avoid mentioning the pending lawsuits you have against your previous 5 employers
  9. Show the interviewer naked pictures of your spouse from the county fair freak show
  10. Use industrial-strength, high-impact knee pads
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6 Responses to Top Ten Tips For A Successful Job Interview

  1. Hey GREAT ideas! this makes me actually want to look for a job just so I can say some of this stuff. Especially the show the interviewer naked pictures of your spouse from the county fair freak show. LOLOLOL 🙂

  2. Pete says:

    U missed ur calling. U should be writing for Letterman. 🙂

  3. Angela says:

    I could just wear my assless jeans to.. lol

  4. Krista says:

    I agree, you missed your calling! You should be writing for someone that will allow you to not only write about how to interview, but live the “advice” you’ve written! Oh and pay you generously for it as well!

  5. Stacey says:

    you are insane and hilarious.

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