Top Ten Tips For A Successful Job Interview

January 16, 2011

 

Today's job market practically demands sexual favors from applicants.

  1. A shot of whiskey helps get the smell of beer off your breath
  2. Ask your interviewer if pants are required by the company dress code
  3. Suggest Wedgie Wednesday as part of Theme Week to help boost employee morale
  4. Dress for Success: denim cut-offs, rope belt and riding boots are a must!
  5. Compliment the female interviewer, “Nice caboose! What time does the train leave?”
  6. Refuse to answer any questions without your lawyers present
  7. Really loud flatulence never fails to break the ice and ease tensions
  8. Avoid mentioning the pending lawsuits you have against your previous 5 employers
  9. Show the interviewer naked pictures of your spouse from the county fair freak show
  10. Use industrial-strength, high-impact knee pads
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