9. Pet Hamster from the Richard Gere Habitat for Rodent Preservation and Intestinal Exploration
8. My First Buzz: Little-Bee Starter Pot Farm
7. Dr. Breasticles’ Home Implant Kit- Now with extra blades!
6. Famous Anus Recliner Chair: Reshape your ass to emulate the posterior of your favorite celebs with genuine molded ass-a-like seats!
5. Santa’s Sack Warmer: The rechargeable underwear heater for men
4. Gift Certificate for the Kardashian Love Line Advice Network
3. Dashboard Deep Fryer
2. Senior’s Stripper Pole with shock absorbent chair lift and safety rails
1. Booger Pouch