Random Secrets Recently Tweeted by Edward Snowden

November 13, 2015

Edward "The Squealer" Snowden

10. The Pentagon was originally planned as The Octagon but a group of congressmen snorted, drank and corn-holed the money needed to build the other three walls

9.
With the exception of the ugly states, the NSA has a peephole drilled into every public Ladies Room in America

8.
Washington marketing geek created the ISIS name as an homage to his childhood fantasies watching the Shazam/Isis Hour on Saturday mornings

7.
Weird loophole in Obamacare allows registered democrats to conduct and enforce mandatory proctology exams twice a year

6.
Working undercover as a comedian, Bill Cosby spent decades as a government agent testing new recreational rape drugs for the White House staff

5.
New Star Wars movie will feature a risqué sex scene between a drunken Wookie, two gay Jawas and a horny black droid.

4.
U.S. government privately scolded Pope Francis for promoting love, acceptance and common sense stating that it’s “bad for business and threatens to undermine the American way of making the government rich.”

3.
The secret ingredient in Bud Light Lime is urine

2.
Hillary will wear make-up over her tramp stamp during the bikini portion of the next democratic debate

1.
Amazon delivery drone had robot sex with your Mom last night

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