Best (or worst) Christmas Presents Received (or returned) this Year

10. Package of Infini-Dong Reusable Condoms with Deluxe Drying Tree

9. Pet Hamster from the Richard Gere Habitat for Rodent Preservation and Intestinal Exploration

8. My First Buzz: Little-Bee Starter Pot Farm

7. Dr. Breasticles’ Home Implant Kit- Now with extra blades!

6. Famous Anus Recliner Chair: Reshape your ass to emulate the posterior of your favorite celebs with genuine molded ass-a-like seats!

5. Santa’s Sack Warmer: The rechargeable underwear heater for men

4. Gift Certificate for the Kardashian Love Line Advice Network

3. Dashboard Deep Fryer

2. Senior’s Stripper Pole with shock absorbent chair lift and safety rails

1. Booger Pouch

Photo Phunk: Rocks, Condoms and Balloons!

I sure hope her climbing cables were made in China by overtired, angry, underpaid workers

This holy roller doesn't want other clergy members cutting in on his action

An all too rare showing of sanity from a religious institution.

Guys with girl's names always seem obsessed with world domination.

I think I'd prefer an MRI at check-in.

Worst Ideas of 2013… So Far

The brain's early warning system which is responsible for sifting out idiotic notions, often fails resulting in totally fucked up ideas.

1. Fish-Flavored ice cream
2. Recycled, Multiple-Use, Reversible Condoms
3. Rotary Cell Phones With Telescopic Rabbit Ears Antenna
4. Back-Wash Water Fountains for Public Parks
5. SkidMarks Lounge- The World’s First Underwear Bar
6. High Speed Electric Nose Hair Braider (220v)
7. Seniors Gone Wild XXX Edition in 3-D (DVD, VHS, Beta)
8. Industrial Strength Butt Crack Caulk And Anal Sealant (12 oz.)
9. Naturally Flavored Frozen Poopsicles
10. Hydraulic Ass Swabber